Song Of The Month Club - September 2017

What is the Song of the Month Club?

It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.

The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.

The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.

All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.

We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material

And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine.

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Comments

  • 253 Comments sorted by Date Votes
  • Sketched in Cubasis, then the skeleton was taken into the closet that is Auria, where the flesh, skin and heavy make up were applied.
    Soundcloud link and a first experiment with Lumafusion. It turned out a bit psychedelic.
    I wanted all my daughters in the video, but only my youngest finally bowed to pressure. The others were 'too busy' or 'having a bad hair day'. So I had to change the whole thing to include more of me :#

    https://youtu.be/wX2ad-9GLk8

  • @DefRobot said:
    Sketched in Cubasis, then the skeleton was taken into the closet that is Auria, where the flesh, skin and heavy make up were applied.
    Soundcloud link and a first experiment with Lumafusion. It turned out a bit psychedelic.
    I wanted all my daughters in the video, but only my youngest finally bowed to pressure. The others were 'too busy' or 'having a bad hair day'. So I had to change the whole thing to include more of me :#

    Yo DefRo, I like this one. I listened to it twice on the cloud, but haven't watched the vid yet, so I can't comment on that. With the heavy synth presence in a lot of iOS music, it was nice to hear this one with a lot of guitars, and what sounded like a bass guitar. The synths that were there added nice seasoning. Well done! The mix is spot on, vocals sound good, nice sounding harmonies, and effective doubling of vocals for emphasis. I thought the instrumental break was very well done. it fit the vibe of the track, was interesting to listen to, and was the right length. I also like the arrangement with the energy level of the final chorus being dropped a bit.

    If I had to be critical, I would say that maybe the verse and chorus sound very similar, and could benefit from differentiating themselves from each other a bit more. I'll share one tip I picked up somewhere, that helps with this. If you start the vocal phrases in different parts of the measure for the verse vs. chorus, it helps give them their own identity. For example, in "Impossible", both verse and chorus vocals start on the 1-downbeat. If one of them had a little different vocal phrasing maybe starting on "2" or the and-of-4, for example, doesn't matter, anything other than 1, in this case. Anyway, play with this on a future track and see what you think. I found it a very useful tip.

    That said, overall it's a very good track, looking forward to checking the video. Cheers!

  • edited September 5 Vote Up0

    This song is based upon a good friend. She passed away recently. She was a beautiful person.

    Too Young

    Nobody wants, nobody wants to go
    There's not enough time, not enough time for you
    This thing won't go away
    It won't leave, it keeps you there
    Keeps you there until the end
    There's just not, not enough time

  • @DefRobot said:
    Sketched in Cubasis, then the skeleton was taken into the closet that is Auria, where the flesh, skin and heavy make up were applied.
    Soundcloud link and a first experiment with Lumafusion. It turned out a bit psychedelic.
    I wanted all my daughters in the video, but only my youngest finally bowed to pressure. The others were 'too busy' or 'having a bad hair day'. So I had to change the whole thing to include more of me :#

    https://youtu.be/wX2ad-9GLk8

    I enjoined this, nice feel, good mix. Could definitely have used a bit of a break rhythmically. The video was fun. Should have had some shots of you playing in the middle of all the special effects.

  • @Marcel said:
    This song is based upon a good friend. She passed away recently. She was a beautiful person.

    Too Young

    Nobody wants, nobody wants to go
    There's not enough time, not enough time for you
    This thing won't go away
    It won't leave, it keeps you there
    Keeps you there until the end
    There's just not, not enough time

    Enjoyed the light jazzy feel of this. I think a bit of swing would have been appropriate, would have given it a bit of a lighter feel. Nice tribute for your friend.

  • @Marcel said:
    This song is based upon a good friend. She passed away recently. She was a beautiful person.

    Too Young

    Nobody wants, nobody wants to go
    There's not enough time, not enough time for you
    This thing won't go away
    It won't leave, it keeps you there
    Keeps you there until the end
    There's just not, not enough time

    You were born with a melancholy tone I think Mister Marcel, but you put it to excellent use here in the service of honest sadness.

  • My submission for the month. Started out as a drum grove in notion, added bass and then harpsichord and model 15. Finally played lead on my strat over top of it. Interested in particular in thoughts on how the solo fits over the rest.

  • @DefRobot drums sound great man, I'd like to say I'm hearing a lot of clipping in the back up vocals which is cutting out some harmonics I'd really want to hear more of.. it's cool track ..

  • @marcel I really like this .. it has a Spanish feel to it I like , and the bass line and panning swirling is very interesting.. good job on the vocals .. driven yet not too driven . Smooth.. good job over all marcel

  • @rickwaugh I really get reminded of how wide spread this club is in this world when I hear your music... you bring in a different sound than anything I'm used to hearing.. bass line is awesome and very technical.. the whole song is technical.. it would be a great song to play along to and warm up.. good job

  • Hey y'all, meet Llewellyn! Please pay special attention to the level of the reverb on the vocal, if you would. I struggle with this. I set up an AUX channel in Auria with the Convolution Reverb "Vocal Plate" into Pro-Q2 with the both the highs and lows rolled off the reverb. Also the vocal subgroup also through a little hall reverb, but I have trouble settling on how much is enough, not too much, etc. Feedback on that, and any and all other feedback appreciated!

    Meet the band:
    * Song flushed out in BM3 using internal sounds Lo-FI House kit, Donk Nation
    * iSem hosted in BM3 for the synth lead
    * Beathawk, 3 instances hosted in BM3 for some bass and noises
    * Audio Damage's Grind and Pumphouse for added fun
    * Guitar recorded in AUM hosting ToneStack
    * everthing brought into Auria Pro for mixing with Saturn, Pro-Q2, Microwarmer
    * "Mastered" in Auria using Pro-L

    Thanks for listening!

    Llewellyn
    Verse
    Let me tell you about a girl I know
    She’s got four L’s in her name
    The first one stands for “loneliness”
    She’ll go out just the way she came

    The seconds stands for “law and order”
    She has so many rules
    The third one stands for “leave it alone”
    She thinks changes are for fools

    But the fourth “L” stands for “lunatic”
    Cuz I think she's kind of strange
    I’ve tried everything to win her heart
    I’m losing sleep, I’m going insane

    Chorus
    Llewellyn is yellin’
    While I’m just trying to talk some sense
    Llewellyn keeps yellin’
    What’s it gonna take to push her off the fence
    Llewellyn is yellin’
    Why won’t she set her love free
    Llewellyn stop yellin’
    Whisper to me, you’ll love nobody but me

    Verse
    Logic’s never been her strong suit
    But that ain’t part of her game
    She’s the power and the strength of the sun
    My heart burns for that flame

    Seems so strange
    Won't ever change
    I’ve tried everything to win her heart
    I’m losing sleep, I’m going insane

  • @Marcel said:
    This song is based upon a good friend. She passed away recently. She was a beautiful person.

    Too Young

    Nobody wants, nobody wants to go
    There's not enough time, not enough time for you
    This thing won't go away
    It won't leave, it keeps you there
    Keeps you there until the end
    There's just not, not enough time

    Very smooth track, nice playing, and good mix. I like that you added "new passengers to the train" as it went down the track to keep it interesting. May your friend RIP.

  • @trackedout said:
    @rickwaugh I really get reminded of how wide spread this club is in this world when I hear your music... you bring in a different sound than anything I'm used to hearing.. bass line is awesome and very technical.. the whole song is technical.. it would be a great song to play along to and warm up.. good job

    Thanks, @trackedout. I can't help myself, that's what I do. :D I'm having fun starting from a rhythm and bass line. It's the old bass player coming out.

  • @Shaken&;Stirred said:
    Hey y'all, meet Llewellyn! Please pay special attention to the level of the reverb on the vocal, if you would. I struggle with this. I set up an AUX channel in Auria with the Convolution Reverb "Vocal Plate" into Pro-Q2 with the both the highs and lows rolled off the reverb. Also the vocal subgroup also through a little hall reverb, but I have trouble settling on how much is enough, not too much, etc. Feedback on that, and any and all other feedback appreciated!

    This is a great tune. Love the variety of changes you throw out there. I think the reverb on the voice is just about perfect, maybe just a little too perfect for the punk leaning flavor of the vocal? :D I don't know where that leaves you, but it's excellent where it is. Two thoughts. I thunk the bass is too loud. When it first comes in, it overpowers the vocal a shade, and then just seems too heavy throughout. Then the point where the heavy guitar came in, there was something about the transition that didn't feel quite right. Once it got going it was fine, it's a great guitar sound. Perhaps a small pause, then bring in the heavy artillery? But nice work.

  • This track has just been signed to Disco Balls Records. Acapella is from Loop Masters. Enjoy!...... ;)

  • @rickwaugh said:
    My submission for the month. Started out as a drum grove in notion, added bass and then harpsichord and model 15. Finally played lead on my strat over top of it. Interested in particular in thoughts on how the solo fits over the rest.

    Nice track! This isn't in my wheelhouse - I don't listen to much jazz (would this be considered jazz?). I'm mostly a simple blues/rock-based guitarist, so i can't say too much how the solo fits in this context. I think it does for sure in some spots, and others it seems a little disjoint, but I have the same opinion when I listen to the critically acclaimed jazz guitarists, so don't place much stock in my opinions. This mix is great, I can hear everything just fine, and the harpsichord patch is a nice one. The bass part was cool, I could envision that getting the spotlight for a few bars at some point.

  • @rickwaugh said:

    @Shaken&;Stirred said:
    Hey y'all, meet Llewellyn! Please pay special attention to the level of the reverb on the vocal, if you would. I struggle with this. I set up an AUX channel in Auria with the Convolution Reverb "Vocal Plate" into Pro-Q2 with the both the highs and lows rolled off the reverb. Also the vocal subgroup also through a little hall reverb, but I have trouble settling on how much is enough, not too much, etc. Feedback on that, and any and all other feedback appreciated!

    This is a great tune. Love the variety of changes you throw out there. I think the reverb on the voice is just about perfect, maybe just a little too perfect for the punk leaning flavor of the vocal? :D I don't know where that leaves you, but it's excellent where it is. Two thoughts. I thunk the bass is too loud. When it first comes in, it overpowers the vocal a shade, and then just seems too heavy throughout. Then the point where the heavy guitar came in, there was something about the transition that didn't feel quite right. Once it got going it was fine, it's a great guitar sound. Perhaps a small pause, then bring in the heavy artillery? But nice work.

    Great feedback, thank you! I was so focused on the level of that iSem synth lead, that I probably neglected the bass level to an extent. And I totally get what you're saying about that spot where the heavy git comes in. I'll give that some attention, along with the bass level when I remix this. Cheers!

  • Tx @Shaken&;Stirred. I kept thinking I should have featured the bass bit more. Maybe alternating between lead and bass. At times I'm nor sure about the lead at all.

  • @DefRobot Passed my test of "Can I remember the melody after one listen?" Love the general vibe to the track, as a guitarist I'm with @Shaken&;Stirred in that it's such a breath of fresh air to hear instruments on a track that AREN'T Midi/samples, etc.

    Vocal has passion and lyric is very cool, relationship songs work if there's palpable truth in the performance & writing. Overall nice mix, mastered at a good level, and it's earwormed me all morning, lol. Great job brother!

  • @trackedout said:

    If you were going for a lofi sound to match the lyrical content then I understand. If not, this is a prime example of the difference between mixing & mastering. When I put headphones on and cranked my volume I can hear the mix you created is okay, but after SoundCloud's compression the level is just too low.

    That doesn't mean to obliterate the mix with a loudness war limiting squeeze, but some compression/EQ into a good limiter set to -3db with occasional peaks to -1db will help the mix be appreciated better. I avoid "always" trying to get the master at 0db as much as possible, that's the problem the business is still dealing with, but a clear, strong level is important, especially on mixes with a lot of frequencies flying around.

    Other than that, good effort- certainly sounds like you were having a good time recording the track, the energy comes through & will even more with a bit of mastering. Be cool...

  • @rickwaugh said:
    My submission for the month.

    Wow, very different from some of the other things you've done. I think it has a nice vibe, the guitar tones are nice. The arrangement could be better well, arranged, as the drop in the middle doesn't flow with the rest of the track. Great playing and like @trackedout 's song I'd like to hear this after some more arranging with a fresh mix & master. Be cool....

  • @Marcel said:

    @Marcel your track is a really touching tribute and I'm sure your friend would have loved it. Heavy emotion in the vocal, wow. Good work.

  • edited September 6 Vote Up0

    @Shaken&;Stirred said:

    @Shaken&;Stirred Fabulist is one of the most original artists I've heard on the forum and anywhere else for that matter. The B-52's & other new wave bands would've had some stiff competition if you were releasing records back then.

    I'll admit, I love melody, sonorous, clarion singing and Pet Sounds-ish pop, the Beatles, Lindsey Buckingham, etc. Cats who had pretty melodies & recordings. My wife is a huge fan of Talking Heads, Television, two-tone Ska, etc. and it's taken me awhile to appreciate that more raw type of material.

    While you have some similarities to a few older acts/genres, you are a real original songwriter/musician, and that's the biggest compliment I can give anyone really. The production was good, mastered well, everything recorded well. Nice brother...

  • @studs1966 said:

    @studs1966 If this was recorded in iOS then hats off, very good recording & composition.

    Not my favorite genre but very nice.

  • @JRSIV said:

    @Shaken&;Stirred said:

    @Shaken&;Stirred Fabulist is one of the most original artists I've heard on the forum and anywhere else for that matter. The B-52's & other new wave bands would've had some stiff competition if you were releasing records back then.

    I'll admit, I love melody, sonorous, clarion singing and Pet Sounds-ish pop, the Beatles, Lindsey Buckingham, etc. Cats who had pretty melodies & recordings. My wife is a huge fan of Talking Heads, Television, two-tone Ska, etc. and it's taken me awhile to appreciate that more raw type of material.

    While you have some similarities to a few older acts/genres, you are a real original songwriter/musician, and that's the biggest compliment I can give anyone really. The production was good, mastered well, everything recorded well. Nice brother...

    wow @JRSIV - what a nice compliment, thank you very much!

  • @trackedout said:

    hey, I like you're vocal style, and it does a good job of setting the feel of the song, but I was having trouble getting a handle on the structure. It also seemed like some of the playing could be tightened up a bit to fit the timing better. Also, I think the mix could use some work, it seemed like there was a lot of competition for sonic space between the parts, and listening through the cans I do a lot of mixing on, the cymbals were overbearing in places. Hope this doesn't sound too negative - the track certainly has room for improvement, but it's got potential, and it ain't Garbage! :)

  • @studs1966 said:
    This track has just been signed to Disco Balls Records. Acapella is from Loop Masters. Enjoy!...... ;)

    Hey man, congrats on your continued success with the disco labels. Like a few others in these parts, this isn't my bag, but from what I've heard from this genre, this is spot on. Mix sounds good, and it's got a lot of bounce. good job!

  • @Shaken&;Stirred said:

    @studs1966 said:
    This track has just been signed to Disco Balls Records. Acapella is from Loop Masters. Enjoy!...... ;)

    Hey man, congrats on your continued success with the disco labels. Like a few others in these parts, this isn't my bag, but from what I've heard from this genre, this is spot on. Mix sounds good, and it's got a lot of bounce. good job!

    Thanks @Shaken&;Stirred...... Much appreciated. ;)

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