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Shaving

edited May 15 in Off-topic

Yes, shaving. WTF about that? I mean, I’ve been had to scrape my face, at least with a steel blade, because the woman, who first thought of it… fore it had to be a woman… held out a sharpened stone to her caveman had said… no scrape no fick, Alley Oop. I’ve been at this facial sadism almost six decades. We all do it (women are mostly not excused either). The only thing more primitive is not shaving.

So, why do we do it? Is it a conspiracy created by aftershave manufacturers? The eternal deep state that wants a clearer identification on our microfiche (dated)? Are we trying to make our faces resemble a baby’s bottom? You tell me?

My ordeal takes about four minutes with a bic disposable. After the coffee thread there must be some exfoliating aficionados here. What’s your story? Anyone have to go to the ER from a moment’s distraction when the dog knocked over the China cabinet?

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Comments

  • I can’t stand having a beard, it itches like crazy. I do rock a mustache cos it makes shaving quicker and it makes my partner go wild though. I usually just use clippers after a hot washcloth on my face. Sometimes I’ll do a safety razor if I want smooth but I’m usually too stoned and lazy to make the effort.

  • wimwim
    edited May 15

    humm ... great timing. It'll give me something to think about during my eyebrow threading appointment later today.

  • I trim my beard down to ~12mm once or twice per month, that's it...

  • @Samu said:
    I trim my beard down to ~12mm once or twice per month, that's it...

    Same, only shorter. Fuck shaving.

  • When the covid lock downs hit I stopped shaving and grew 3 beards to about 5 inches before shaving. I recently trimmed down to a mustache and goatee on request to look more civilized.

    I find beards of any length to be a constant source of stroking and twirling which seems to be comforting for me and irritating for my wife who is a germaphobe.

  • edited May 15

    When my dog starts accepting me as one of his kind by grooming my stubble in the morning, that's when I know it's time for a shave. Quite simple, really.

  • At the moment I keep shortish beard/stubble most of the time, trimmed with a beard trimmer to a number 5 or so when I can be bothered. I don't like it when it gets long and too beardy...

    Otherwise I used to wet shave with a 'proper' safety razor and real soap with brush. Discovering old styleee razors was a revelation... I used to buy those stupid ones footballers advertise with about 15 blades and would end up looking like an extra from the Walking Dead. And to think we as a family practically bullied my dad into using the fancy new ones when the old school ones were so much better... Who knew? Sorry dad. Wish I could tell you you were right :-)

    I never got on with electric razors either... they would just turn my skin to mulch.

    My wife actually prefers a beard so laziness wins. My beard is also very salt and peppery (more salt than pepper these days) so I con myself into thinking I look distinguished and a bit of a silver fox (but I'm not actually fooling anybody!).

  • When I trip over my beard, I tend to lop off a couple of inches, mostly for safety reasons.

  • edited May 15

    Lots of beards here. Who would’ve known? My mom wanted my dad to shave his mustache. He had it half off when my mom screamed, “Murray, put it back!”

    I’ve had a mustache since 19. I look like Prince Mishkin without it.

  • I don't like my facial hair to become too long, but enough to be "scruffy", except for a soul patch that I've trimmed back but haven't shaved off since the early 2000s, lol. :lol:

  • wimwim
    edited May 15

    Tied to grow a beard a couple of times. Looked ridiculous. Gave up.

  • Once a week with a double-edged safety razor and shaving soap lathered in a bowl like a grownup. I get itchy and fungus starts to grow otherwise.

  • Pre-covid, it was 5 days a week. During the lockdown, I was either inside or wearing a mask.
    So, I would let it go for 5 or 6 days until the feeling became unbearable, and it had to go. Immediately.

  • Super short beard here so I can avoid shaving, I only shave my neck cause that shit gets itchy quick. Even that I only do twice a week, or when I remember. When I do have to shave for me the most important thing to make it comfortable is the shaving cream. I just use a sensitive skin cream, REALLY rub it in and let it sit for a minute to soften up the hair before I start.

  • Beard-trimmer every few weeks when I shave my head. Not sure I've taken a razor to my face since I was 18, over three decades ago. Can't imagine I ever will, again.

  • I have never wanted a beard as my facial hair has always been a mix of brown and red, and never liked the two color look. The red has all gone, so mostly gray with some brown now, but hasn’t changed my mind about growing one.

  • I tend to change up my beard and hair style quite often. Right now I’m just rocking a somewhat close shave, but I’ll be doing my yearly mustache within the next month or so.

  • There was a man of high social standing with a magnificent beard. One day, for some reason, his beard smelled bad. He did not notice it. People around him did not (or could not) point out the smell. I think the stench of the person's beard was probably a temporary, rare event. The fact just one event is remembered so strongly means a person with a beard can be etched in people's memories in an unforeseen way. (True story.)

  • If I could grow a beard without it itching like f*ck, and I didnt get some small comfort from shaving - which makes me wonder if the ancient Greek way of scraping [1] would do the same thing - I wouldn't shave.

    Plus shaving your face, for a man makes you look "younger" (since prepubescent youths have no facial hair). But it's a bit like ladies drawing way over their actual lip contours to appear younger. At some point it fails and just looks silly.

    BTW I'd recommend anyone who still shaves to get a safety razor. The one I have, which is not the top of the artisanal shaving line, has saved me time and money. My sub 100 dollar outlay was recouped in months because no matter how many blades they stack on a piece of plastic they are all shit and dull after a few uses.

    The safety blades I have last for weeks and no fucking plastic for anything to choke on.

    PS we all eat a lot of plastic [1] and its been found in our blood [2]

    [1] https://smarthistory.org/lysippos-apoxyomenos-scraper/

    [2] In a month, we ingest the weight of a 4x2 Lego brick in plastic, and in a year, the amount of plastic in a fireman's helmet https://news.trust.org/item/20201208090301-obmrm

    [3] https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2022/03/25/plastics-found-inside-human-blood/7153385001/

  • Wet shave my face and head twice a week, started doing my head as well at 21 when the clippers I used back them to shave my head broke and the only options were to either wet shave my dome or head into the city with half a shaved head looking for an open barber to finish the job.

    I really don’t like shaving and wish there was a decent alternative way to stop or remove facial / body hair !

  • @CRAKROX said:
    Wet shave my face and head twice a week, started doing my head as well at 21 when the clippers I used back them to shave my head broke and the only options were to either wet shave my dome or head into the city with half a shaved head looking for an open barber to finish the job.

    I really don’t like shaving and wish there was a decent alternative way to stop or remove facial / body hair !

    lasers or alopecia ?

  • Once every week or two with a trimmer, maybe once a year with a razor for a laugh, or when I’m caught out away from home…

  • There's more than beards.....and I have Nair on Amazon autoreplentish....

  • Yesterday i had to shave off my beard of 15 years for a medical thing.

    I hate how smooth it is, like having a dolphin for a face.

  • I used to think myself a bit of a dandy so liked to be a fresh, younger version of myself that shaving offered. Grooming can lift your mood.

    I however left that world well alone a while back. Life’s to short. Haircuts and shaving long gone. I only whip out a trimmer when my upper lip beard hair interferes with my compulsive tea drinking. So annoying the droplets that flick all over my nice clean tee.

    I do have vain trim moments. Cheek hair when too long, rounds my face too much so I look like Father Christmas or David Bellamy. I want to look more Greek myth (hipster prolly) think 100.

  • I’ve tried a beard but they just look dirty to me. 😂. Nevermind the itching and the food and drink getting in them. Mine turns me into a real sea-fisherman lookalike.

    I like the scrape of a razor, the fresh feeling. And the older you get the worse a beard looks imho. The main thing that irritates me about beards is how the sheep have all jumped onto it. I’ve noticed over the last few weeks the young blokes who live near me are starting to lose their beards. Sheep going the other way.

  • @LinearLineman said:
    Lots of beards here. Who would’ve known? My mom wanted my dad to shave his mustache. He had it half off when my mom screamed, “Murray, put it back!”

    I’ve had a mustache since 19. I look like Prince Mishkin without it.

    You owe me a Chocolate Nitro Brew my friend. Just came thru my nostrils when I read this! 💦😩🤣

    Prince Myshkin!!🤦🏽‍♂️😭

  • edited May 17

    Expected many comments about snogging, but nary a one. I have no schedule, but then Missus looks at me and says I think you should have a shave and I do, right away.

    To clarify (or give context): She calls my face the chafing dish...

  • @CapnWillie you got me. I owe you!

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