Song Of The Month Club - June 2019

edited June 3 in Creations

What is the Song of the Month Club?

It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.

The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.

The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.

All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.

We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material

And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine.

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Comments

  • edited June 3

    My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler:

    Just me and you
    Away from the crowd
    Away from the noise
    That's driving us mad

    We want to run
    Can we we run away?
    We want to run
    So far away

    This feeling in my heart
    Is a fire slowly burning out
    And it's tearing me apart
    In blaze that sets the world alight
    I'm on fire
    On fire

    I am alive
    But I wanted to drown
    I wanted to dive
    All the way down

    But now I burn
    I am alight
    Yeah now I burn
    A star in the night

    This feeling in my heart
    Is a fire slowly burning out
    And it's tearing me apart
    In blaze that sets the world alight
    I'm on fire
    On fire

    I used a fair amount of my own custom NS2 instruments in this track, any NS2 users who might be interested can see more details in this thread on the Blip forum.

  • In answer to the clamour for more country ballads on this forum I respectfully submit this months song. This was the first one we wrote after a long break whilst my wife first waited for and then recovered from hip replacement surgery. Gone full circle and have gone back to Garageband as our main writing tool, ported into Logic for vocals and mixing. I did try using Finale on the iPad for mastering but couldn't get the sound I wanted so I have gone back to Ableton Live. Anyway hope you like it.

  • @richardyot said:
    My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler:

    Just me and you
    Away from the crowd
    Away from the noise
    That's driving us mad

    We want to run
    Can we we run away?
    We want to run
    So far away

    This feeling in my heart
    Is a fire slowly burning out
    And it's tearing me apart
    In blaze that sets the world alight
    I'm on fire
    On fire

    I am alive
    But I wanted to drown
    I wanted to dive
    All the way down

    But now I burn
    I am alight
    Yeah now I burn
    A star in the night

    This feeling in my heart
    Is a fire slowly burning out
    And it's tearing me apart
    In blaze that sets the world alight
    I'm on fire
    On fire

    I used a fair amount of my own custom NS2 instruments in this track, any NS2 users who might be interested can see more details in this thread on the Blip forum.

    Good track! Very cool and a bit dark ambiance. I think this track can use some more clarity. It sounds a bit if there are to much low frequenties.

    And meaby a part where it really comes loose, meaby some more fast hihats and a extra clap on the snare. The right part to do something like that is on "Yeah now I burn".

    Im very interested in your own custom instruments so im definitely go check them out. Thanks!

  • @orchardman said:
    In answer to the clamour for more country ballads on this forum I respectfully submit this months song. This was the first one we wrote after a long break whilst my wife first waited for and then recovered from hip replacement surgery. Gone full circle and have gone back to Garageband as our main writing tool, ported into Logic for vocals and mixing. I did try using Finale on the iPad for mastering but couldn't get the sound I wanted so I have gone back to Ableton Live. Anyway hope you like it.

    Very relax track! Not the music I normaly listen to but I really like it. The only thing I don't like so much is the reverb on the vocals. When it kicks in, it sounds just a bit weird but after less than a second it sounds good. Don't know what it is and I hope you understand what im saying.

    Listening for the second time and it reminds me of Kings of Leon :)

  • My entry for this month. The last track of my January ep. Hope you enjoy it!

    https://open.spotify.com/track/0re3kIm9VqBStjEGQM26p0?si=EXr5-GUcQgq7Kv3jV8Bm9A

  • edited June 4

    @orchardman said:
    In answer to the clamour for more country ballads on this forum I respectfully submit this months song. This was the first one we wrote after a long break whilst my wife first waited for and then recovered from hip replacement surgery. Gone full circle and have gone back to Garageband as our main writing tool, ported into Logic for vocals and mixing. I did try using Finale on the iPad for mastering but couldn't get the sound I wanted so I have gone back to Ableton Live. Anyway hope you like it.

    Very nice ballad, I love the melancholy vocal melody, it's extremely good and has just the right vibe. The guitar parts complement the vocal well and it's a well-constructed song.

    There's too much reverb on the vocal though, and the overall quality of the reverb isn't good, it's metallic sounding and brittle (same for the guitars, the reverb doesn't sound too good). I would swap it out for a much warmer reverb (with a low-pass filter to get rid of those brittle highs in the reverb send) and dial it back. I'm wondering if you used a spring reverb in order to get a vintage vibe? Maybe, but anyway vintage songs would never use a spring reverb on a vocal, they traditionally used echo chambers which were really warm sounding, and later plate reverbs which again were generally warm and pleasant to the ear.

    Otherwise it's a really good effort, especially the vocal melody which is terrific.

    Just to give an audio reference of a vintage track with echo chamber reverb on a female vocal, you can hear a lot of reverb on this song, but it's not harsh or metallic sounding:

  • @DrRinkel said:
    My entry for this month. The last track of my January ep. Hope you enjoy it!

    https://open.spotify.com/track/0re3kIm9VqBStjEGQM26p0?si=EXr5-GUcQgq7Kv3jV8Bm9A

    This is very good :)

    A lot of electronica is boring to listen to because it lacks any kind of well-crafted melody, but this track is full of really nice catchy and interesting melodies, with a lovely soft and reflective vibe. The groove is just right as well, and the arrangement ebbs and flows in a very engaging way. The main piano theme is killer, but so are the complementary counter-melodies that flow around it. Great track, well done. 🥁🎹

  • Hello, the picture that inspired the music is from a French painter friend named Bruno Clochard. You can find his gallery here https://bruno-clochard.com

    I hope you'll enjoy the music either: https://soundcloud.com/kitusai/searchlight

    Thank you for this sharing thread. Time to listen to your creations happy fellows!

  • @richardyot said:
    My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler:

    I used a fair amount of my own custom NS2 instruments in this track, any NS2 users who might be interested can see more details in [this thread on the Blip forum](https://www.blipinteractive.co.uk/community/index.php?p=/discussion/673/on-fire-indie-rock-with-ambient-influences "this thread on the Blip forum

    Nice atmospheric early 80s synth pop sounding track. I was getting an ultravox vibe. You got a great beat going and there were some interesting synth layers. Much clearer vocal production this month. A couple of gripes; I’m not sure the fire effects work particularly over the chorus and the overall production sounded a bit dull. On its own it’s sounds ok but if you listen to it back to back with the @DrRinkel track like I just did you realise it lacks a little pop. Sorry not very good at expressing what I mean.

  • @DrRinkel said:
    My entry for this month. The last track of my January ep. Hope you enjoy it!

    https://open.spotify.com/track/0re3kIm9VqBStjEGQM26p0?si=EXr5-GUcQgq7Kv3jV8Bm9A

    Nice laid back jazzy electronica. Really crisp production although the bass was a little boomy when played through my speakers ( it sounded great through my headphones). Loved the piano sound and the drums particularly the high hats. I thought a couple of the synth sounds were a little harsh for the vibe of the song and the main repeated chord sound did begin to grate a little by the end. Overall though nice piece.

  • edited June 6

    @Kitusai said:
    Hello, the picture that inspired the music is from a French painter friend named Bruno Clochard. You can find his gallery here https://bruno-clochard.com

    I hope you'll enjoy the music either: https://soundcloud.com/kitusai/searchlight

    Thank you for this sharing thread. Time to listen to your creations happy fellows!

    This would make a pretty cool soundtrack, I can just picture the movie: tense, dark, flashing lights, fast edits.

    As a standalone track it could probably do with a little more melodic content, but as a soundscape/atmospheric piece it works well, and definitely creates a lot of tension and edginess. The guitar at the end is pretty cool, just as the whole thing is reaching a crescendo. This is the bit where the guy in the clown mask gets his chainsaw out...

  • edited June 6

    @richardyot The music floats as a flying carpet. My English knowledge doesn’t allow me to understand fully the lyrics. The voice is very pleasant and soft reminds me early Pink Floyd. Kind of nostalgic night track. Beautiful atmosphere.

    @orchardman Very well done, beautiful vocals. "Une belle balade". A little too much phaser on the main voice maybe (for my taste) as she is naturally in tone and very pure. I hope that troubles will soon leave this home. (to stay in what @richardyot says about reverb, the latest Valhalla delay has very good old fashion emulations)

    @DrRinkel I don’t have Spotify and they limited the listening to 30 seconds which is too short. Is it available elsewhere?

    @Nancy and @Lee Pretty good, I see a beautiful musical career ahead :)

  • edited June 6

    Some good old rock n roll. Still one of my favorites from this album. Song is a bit of a mashup of some exgfs and ancient Sumerian mythology. Write what you know of course.

    I sing and played guitar on this. My little sister sings some backups on the bridge.

    http://foglings.bandcamp.com/track/beast

    @richardyot said:
    My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler:

    I used a fair amount of my own custom NS2 instruments in this track, any NS2 users who might be interested can see more details in this thread on the Blip forum.

    There is a lot I like about this, vibe, lyrics, melody, production overall. If I had any constructive criticism it would be that the fire sound on the choruses is a bit on the nose. I like it in the intro okay.

    @orchardman said:
    In answer to the clamour for more country ballads on this forum I respectfully submit this months song. This was the first one we wrote after a long break whilst my wife first waited for and then recovered from hip replacement surgery. Gone full circle and have gone back to Garageband as our main writing tool, ported into Logic for vocals and mixing. I did try using Finale on the iPad for mastering but couldn't get the sound I wanted so I have gone back to Ableton Live. Anyway hope you like it.

    I listen to a lot of old country this reminds me of. If there is anything that would take it to the next level for me it would be having someone else do the harmony. I don't mind it when something is pretty low in the mix for one singer to do harmonies, but the contrast of voices just adds a lot when they are this prominent.

    @Kitusai said:
    Hello, the picture that inspired the music is from a French painter friend named Bruno Clochard. You can find his gallery here...

    I hope you'll enjoy the music either: https://soundcloud.com/kitusai/searchlight

    Thank you for this sharing thread. Time to listen to your creations happy fellows!

    I took the painting in for a good few minutes before listening and imagining what it would sound like. You really nailed it. Obviously I wasn't going to guess the details, but the mood and timbre of a lot of things is very much what I guessed. Constructive criticism...Whatever sounds like bit crushed guitar at around 2:08 could come down or have a low pass filter on it. I didn't actually notice that the 1st time I listened. I wanted to listed to this again on my good monitors and there it was pretty piercing.

  • @Multicellular I like it very much, and yes it's good to listen to r'n'r! It sounds very professional with breaks and various vocals. Well done! I just would have enjoyed a little part where you unleash more those top sounding guitars.
    I haven't listened to my track on monitors so... I have to!

  • @Kitusai said:
    @Multicellular I like it very much, and yes it's good to listen to r'n'r! It sounds very professional with breaks and various vocals. Well done! I just would have enjoyed a little part where you unleash more those top sounding guitars.
    I haven't listened to my track on monitors so... I have to!

    Ya. Totally. We recorded that very shortly after I wrote it and when we play it live now, quite a bit more wild lead guitar from my bandmate.

  • Here's mine:

  • edited June 7

    @Kitusai said:

    @DrRinkel I don’t have Spotify and they limited the listening to 30 seconds which is too short. Is it available elsewhere?

    Here's a link to different platforms:

    https://song.link/s/0re3kIm9VqBStjEGQM26p0

    @richardyot; thanks for listening and your reaction!

    @orchardman; thanks for listening. I have the same problem. My tracks sound always different on my speakers and all the headphones I have. Good to hear that it at least does sound good on your headphones.

    BTW; this track is made in Korg Gadget and I made some percussion loops with DrumJam.

  • edited June 7

    @Kitusai said:
    Hello, the picture that inspired the music is from a French painter friend named Bruno Clochard. You can find his gallery here https://bruno-clochard.com

    I hope you'll enjoy the music either: https://soundcloud.com/kitusai/searchlight

    Thank you for this sharing thread. Time to listen to your creations happy fellows!

    Wow, that was a trip, a bit short and a abrupt ending. It would fit nice with a car chase scène in a movie. I enjoyed it!

    @Multicellular said:
    Some good old rock n roll. Still one of my favorites from this album. Song is a bit of a mashup of some exgfs and ancient Sumerian mythology. Write what you know of course.

    I sing and played guitar on this. My little sister sings some backups on the bridge.

    http://foglings.bandcamp.com/track/beast

    First of all this is not my kind of music so don't take me to serious ;)

    Production wise its very good! The vocals are sometimes a bit to soft for my taste or they blend in to much with the instruments. Something i don't like so much is the snare that sounds different almost every time it sounds. Apart from that a really good track in my opinion.

  • My entry this month: An IPad jam using AUM, synth 1, D1, Audiokit FM, Mozaic, Fugue Machine, iSymphonic, and Cubasis 2(for a bit of polish).

  • @DrRinkel smooth pop-jazz, very relaxing. The global sounding and atmosphere is well balanced transporting me at night in a city where I look at lights with a glass in my hand :-)

    @Zetagy i like repetitive-minimalist music but something is missing for me. Maybe repetitive lines a bit further and/or some new lines along or investigate some ruptures?

    @Jhnk i liked it very much, the melody is really catchy and i like the sounds. Too short!

  • @richardyot very nice. I like the atmosphere and the sounds you got out of those custom instruments (I don’t have NS2 so not sure exactly what that entails). I feel the vocals might be a little bit high in the mix, or perhaps some compression could bring out the background more?

    @orchardman Liked it a lot! Nice guitar work, vocals and melody. Would agree with what others have said about the reverb though.

    @DrRinkel Impressive production and a good tune! I agree with what someone else said about the lead synth being a little harsh.

    @Kitusai Loved it! Pushing myself to give criticism and can only suggest this: perhaps the guitar that comes in at the end could come in earlier and build up towards the ending a bit more.

    @Multicellular Nice tune, catchy riff and good vocals too. I felt the drums sounded a little bit flat in the mix. I mean, overall they sounded really good but I think they could be a bit punchier.

  • edited June 10

    @Jhnk said:
    @Multicellular Nice tune, catchy riff and good vocals too. I felt the drums sounded a little bit flat in the mix. I mean, overall they sounded really good but I think they could be a bit punchier.

    I agree lol. And it is down to the drum set I think. Maybe there was other studio wizardry I could have done but I really tried to get the guy to use my drum set, (which is punchier with no real work) but he prefers this vintage Gretsch which is really a jazz set.

  • @Multicellular said:
    Some good old rock n roll. Still one of my favorites from this album. Song is a bit of a mashup of some exgfs and ancient Sumerian mythology. Write what you know of course.

    I sing and played guitar on this. My little sister sings some backups on the bridge.

    http://foglings.bandcamp.com/track/beast

    Good stuff. Well sung and well performed. Your voice really reminds me of Paul Branks from Interpol (hope you don't mind the comparison, the resemblance is quite strong). Nice variation in the vocals too, with the falsetto sections and the variation in volume between the verse and chorus.

    It's all really tight and has a nice post-punk vibe. Good riffs and arrangement throughout.

    The guitars are very well crafted, I like the way the second lead line interacts with the intro riff. It could maybe be a little more muscular sounding in parts, with louder drums and rhythm guitars in the chorus.

    It's a really good song though, the chorus melody is killer.

  • @Jhnk said:
    My entry this month: An IPad jam using AUM, synth 1, D1, Audiokit FM, Mozaic, Fugue Machine, iSymphonic, and Cubasis 2(for a bit of polish).

    This track is quite whimsical, there are lots of little sounds and melodies and some of them sound kinda playfully spooky, like a candy-coloured Halloween film. It's a nice track, albeit a little short. It could probably be developed a little further so that some of the themes repeat and there is a more organised structure. Nice sounds and it's good to hear such a range of melodic ideas in one track.

  • @Kitusai @richardyot thanks! Yeah, the original recording was 5 minutes long but I chopped it down because it was a bit repetitive. I know what you mean about structure. I thought of it more as an experiment/getting to know my apps a bit better. Getting smooth transitions between presets in Fugue Machine was a problem (Actually, I didn’t get it right and ended up fixing it in Cubasis.) If anybody has any advice on that, I’d appreciate it.

  • @richardyot "candy-coloured Halloween film" :smile: Good formula!
    @Jhnk I don't use a lot Fugue and I encountered the same difficulty about transitions with it.
    Maybe it is possible to use several instances in AUM for example as Fugue is now AU and jump from one to another along the track?

  • @Kitsuai Yeah, I had two instances of it set up with two fugues: So, instance 1 played fugue 1, then instance 1 played fugue 2, then instance 1 played fugue 1 while instance 2 played parts of fugue 2. Still, the problem was the transition for instance 1 to go from Fugue 1 to 2. Maybe there is way to make it delay the transition until the end of the bar? If there is, I must have missed it.

  • I suppose the solution has something to do with “receive program changes” but I’m a bit of a noob.

  • edited June 11

    Hoho, difficult for me. In such a case I’d try to use atom to receive the midi and then edit it in Atom (or Cubase or something where you can edit midi). There is certainly something simplest though…

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