Song Of The Month Club - September 2018

What is the Song of the Month Club?

It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.

The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.

The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.

All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.

We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material

And finally, iOS is not a requirement for posting here. If you've recorded your song using nothing but a ukulele and a Fostex 4 track, that's fine.

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Comments

  • My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler.

    You're searching for a father
    A wise man, that knows the truth
    A knight in shining armour
    Whose voice, will always soothe

    It's not how I thought it would be
    This world is dead to me
    You call to me
    Do I hear your plea?

    You're praying at the altar
    For hope, for love and truth
    Your faith can only falter
    Faced with the loss of youth

    It's not how I thought it would be
    The world has died for me
    You call to me
    And I hear your plea.

  • @richardyot said:
    My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler.

    You're searching for a father
    A wise man, that knows the truth
    A knight in shining armour
    Whose voice, will always soothe

    It's not how I thought it would be
    This world is dead to me
    You call to me
    Do I hear your plea?

    You're praying at the altar
    For hope, for love and truth
    Your faith can only falter
    Faced with the loss of youth

    It's not how I thought it would be
    The world has died for me
    You call to me
    And I hear your plea.

    Nice one Richard.... Cool track... In fact, it cooled me down a little bit whist listening to it, in Sweaty 32C indoor/ 44C outdoor Cyprus midday heat....

  • Nice track.....but to be honest(the purpose of this thread) I found the vocals a bit too much out of tune and timing.
    Maybe it’s meant to be....I love the rest though.
    (And now i feel a bit guilty.....I’ll post one of mine this thread.....so you can return the favor😃)

  • edited September 4

    @JenaMu6 said:
    Nice track.....but to be honest(the purpose of this thread) I found the vocals a bit too much out of tune and timing.
    Maybe it’s meant to be....I love the rest though.
    (And now i feel a bit guilty.....I’ll post one of mine this thread.....so you can return the favor😃)

    Are the vocals out of tune? I'm genuinely surprised, can anyone else confirm?

    (edit) I'm not offended if they are BTW, it's just that I can't hear it, so the feedback would actually be pretty useful.

  • edited September 4

    My entry this month. Actually threw this together over the (US) holiday weekend. I wanted to do a track using only Gadget(s) so I could get to know the instruments better, and I ended up using mostly built-in presets tweaked only very slightly. The idea here was someone trying to go to sleep, almost there, and having their peaceful thoughts abruptly interrupted by energetic thoughts (something my wife struggles with nightly)... trying to regain the peace, the energy abruptly coming back and almost taking over, but finally getting to sleep. OK, yeah, weird, I know. The transitions might be too abrupt, which is what I was going for but might need to rethink how it fits together. Feedback welcome.

    https://soundcloud.com/tokensonly/insomniac/s-hsmHK

  • @richardyot FYI the vocals don't sound out of tune or timing to me. They have a natural, almost spoken quality, which may give the impression to some listeners of being "off", at least compared to all the auto-micro-tuned-to-dull-perfection stuff today. But I personally found the vocals great. I loved the keyboard especially during the verse. It kept reminding me of something (the verse) but dang if I can put a finger on it. Anyway like I said, I really liked the song, and the professional sounding mix as usual. Very nice job!

  • @richardyot said:
    My entry for the month, lyrics in the spoiler.

    Loved the lyric and the sound of the song! Mix is very clear as well. I think there’s no problem with pitch and timing. sounded good to me. Maybe the word “armour” was a touch shaky and maybe a bit off pitch for a second...but it’s so slight as to be hardly noticeable.

  • edited September 5

    @obijohn said:
    My entry this month.

    Like it! I liked the synth sounds used in the peaceful sections contrasted with the energetic sections.

    Something small I would suggest is a slight volume swell in the peaceful sections...just to give it a little variance. Sounded a little static.

    Love the contrast between the staccato notes and legato/slurred notes in the energetic sections.

  • @obijohn I like the way you have very creative ideas for your tracks, they're quite unusual in their themes and structure, not your run-of-the-mill Gadget track by any stretch.

    The intro/quiet part is lovely, really nice melody, and suitably chilled despite the lack of space between the notes (it's a pretty busy melody to suggest peace and contentment but it works).

    The second section is also quite strong, especially the first phrase that comes in. It does have a very prog-rock sound to it but I think that's mainly down to the major scale feel it has. Maybe if you're aiming to convey angst consider using less "happy" sounding melodies though. A minor key and a less classical feel might work better to convey more negative emotions (but then again maybe I am misreading your intent, you said "energetic" thoughts, not necessarily negative ones).

    The structure works well, I like the way the track switches between the two parts and the changes don't feel too sudden to me.

    I think you've got a ton of interesting ideas bubbling around in your head, I would just encourage you to keep exploring those but maybe also consider adding some more contemporary or unusual sounds to your palette, and maybe try for a darker feel sometimes (ha, that's my personal preference showing there, feel free to ignore it).

  • @richardyot Vocals sound good to me! Very clear, the overall mix is good. Your basslines always stand out to me always carrying a nice groove. The phrasing might be a little off in some spots (“you callllllll to me”) but otherwise the tone sounds good and fits the subject! Muchly enjoyed

  • @obijohn Always love me a good Gadget tune haha. For the energetic part if the bass drum ducked some of the synths that would be a cool effect so you’d get a push / pull feel out of that. I don’t think the transitions are too abrupt especially considering your inspiration for the piece. Like @richardyot I tend to enjoy darker pieces more but this had me listening all the way through :) so well done sir!

  • Alrighty, a little Blocs Wave / Launchpad and 100% Gadget under the hood here. This isn’t my favorite of the set but it’s one of the more well received ones. I really took advantage of that Korg summer sale :mrgreen:

  • @icsleepers said:
    Alrighty, a little Blocs Wave / Launchpad and 100% Gadget under the hood here.

    This sounds really nice! Love the chord progression and choice of sounds. Vocals are clear. Only thing I would remove is a glitchy sound at 2:31 and 2:38.

  • @Jmcmillan said:

    @icsleepers said:
    Alrighty, a little Blocs Wave / Launchpad and 100% Gadget under the hood here.

    Only thing I would remove is a glitchy sound at 2:31 and 2:38.

    Ah! But those are on purpose. This and another track on same EP I went a little crazy with grain shift, admittedly. I just can't help it lol.... but glad you enjoyed nonetheless!

  • @icsleepers well the vocal sample is really beautiful and underpins the whole track obviously, the music weaves around it nicely but lets the vocal breathe.

    The keys and synths are all good, and the modern production contrasts nicely with the vintage soul vibe of the vocal.

    It's a nice chill track perfect for a comedown or a Sunday morning. Just enough edge on it.

  • @icsleepers Hey, now that's a dead mellow track! Good vocals already and your music really gives it plenty of support. I enjoy the contrast between glitch-hop beat and the mellow/motown keys and her vocals. Nice one!

  • @dedko Thanks man :) I have no idea where to go from here for now lol... I'm sure something will come to me

  • @icsleepers said:

    @Jmcmillan said:

    @icsleepers said:
    Alrighty, a little Blocs Wave / Launchpad and 100% Gadget under the hood here.

    Only thing I would remove is a glitchy sound at 2:31 and 2:38.

    Ah! But those are on purpose. This and another track on same EP I went a little crazy with grain shift, admittedly. I just can't help it lol.... but glad you enjoyed nonetheless!

    I did! Thought those were by design, but just my opinion on them!

  • @richardyot Thanks for the great feedback :smile: Yeah I was definitely not going for “angst’ in the B section, more of a happy party type thing. One of these days I’ll toss out an angst-ridden track for you haha, who knows maybe that’s up next? :smiley: And thanks for the suggestion about incorporating more non-traditional sounds. I do experiment with them, but for some reason most never end up in the final mix. I’ll try to be more open minded there.

  • @icsleepers So I just tried some side chaining on the kick and yes indeed it gives that section a nice pump. That will end up in the final mix for sure! Thanks for the suggestion. Still playing with how much to use though. Too much and it makes it too hard to hear some of those fast notes. Hopefully I can find a good balance.

    You’re track is great man. I love love love that woman’s voice, just wow. The track has a very professional sound to it, I could hear this being a commercial release right out the gate. I can see why it’s been so well received. I really don’t have any criticisms or suggestion at all. It’s virtually perfect as-is!

  • @obijohn Thanks man!! And super glad to help! Yes side chain on fast notes could be a little problematic, I think it's just a matter of finding the balance of effect saturation.

  • edited September 20

    Hi !
    I haven't posted here for a long time, so here's a new track !
    https://choon.co/tracks/6acu3frmoh/the-futur/

    Hope you'll like it !

  • @richardyot
    Nice mellow track there you got. Same standard as always and that's "always impressed"

    @obijohn
    I see where you're going with this track. Quite keen to see what you produce next, because this track has a lot of ideas going on. The layers could work independently as well with other genres too. Very interesting indeed!

  • @obijohn I love the main theme, very inspired ! Then I'm not crazy about the rest of the production.

    @richardyot well, not very crazy about this one...Sorry.

    @icsleepers very nicely done. Good simple efficient structure, well produced, the chorus brings it to an other level ! I'd love to remix it :)

  • @icsleepers said:
    @obijohn Always love me a good Gadget tune haha. For the energetic part if the bass drum ducked some of the synths that would be a cool effect so you’d get a push / pull feel out of that. I don’t think the transitions are too abrupt especially considering your inspiration for the piece. Like @richardyot I tend to enjoy darker pieces more but this had me listening all the way through :) so well done sir!

    Agreed by what the boys said.... Nice one mate...

  • @icsleepers said:
    Alrighty, a little Blocs Wave / Launchpad and 100% Gadget under the hood here. This isn’t my favorite of the set but it’s one of the more well received ones. I really took advantage of that Korg summer sale :mrgreen:

    Beautifully done mate.... Love this track.... Bravo!... Sir..... ;)

  • @crony said:
    Hi !
    I haven't posted here for a long time, so here's a new track !

    Hope you'll like it !

    Nice one mate... Just stick a bouncy Acid Bassline in & out of the mix, & it would remind me of the early “Phuture Phantasy Club” type of sound & Style (Phuture Phantasy Club “Cocaine” Single comes to mind).... ;)

  • Vocals from the free site "Looperman"....

  • @crony Awesome, simple, driving, the part where you really rode up the tempo change + beat repeat effect had me like this :open_mouth: - agree with @studs1966 some aciiiiiiiid over this would be killer!

    And thanks for the kind words on mine! Much appreciated!

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