THE STAGES OF IPAD MUSICIAN DEVELOPMENT
Oral: During this stage the personality works on overcoming initial skepticism that the iPad can be a serious musical instrument at all. For most people this question was settled several years ago, but there are those who continue to ignore the inevitable and just keep working in the desktop stage, missing out on the touch experience (and spending 10 times as much on software).
Anal: At this point the user becomes obsessed with the iPad as the new answer to everything. The older desktop or hardware ways are eschewed as the user makes a vow to henceforth work only "in the slab," no matter what it takes, no matter how many hoops through which one has to jump. The desktop is dead. Long live the touchpad.
Phallic: Musical masturbation, basically. Like any new toy, ecstatic obsession sets in.
Latency: Eventually the artificial creative boost generated by the new toys begins to wear thin. The user comes to realize that, damn it, certain things are still just so much better on the desktop. Others press on "in the slab" (usually for lifestyle or budget reasons).
Genital: The intercourse of desktop and tablet reaches maturity, spawning the perfect balance between hardware and software, desktop and tablet, real and virtual. Sort of.
The biggest challenge at this stage is simply keeping up with the continual barrage of brilliant new apps that keeps coming down the pike while still finding time to make music or do anything else! "Yes, I'll get back to work, just as soon as try out this new super app that's going to replace everything I ever wanted or bring back some lost vintage thing that I can't go on without."