Does your spouse/partner/gf/bf like that you make music? Hate it? Neutral?

Curious what the dynamics are in your household. Non-musicians can be notoriously unsympathetic.



  • Mildly sympathetic. She pretends to care, I pretend to care about her tennis matches.

  • She likes final song, but hate looooong preparing and purchasing lots of apps ;)

  • If I’m conscious of how much time I spend there’s no issues. It’s when I forget that issues come up. Other than that, she knows she married a musician and it’s part of my life till my last breath here on this earth. And will continue when I take my first breath in the presence of my Creator and savior Jesus Christ :) o:) <3

  • She wants me to record some of the stuf I make. Unfortunately I’m stuck with some few bars. But she like em.

  • edited November 2017

    Its keeps me off the streets and busy with something constructive, mostly on the couch, so she is happy with that part. Musicaly speaking the best response I get from her is when I am just building up scale friendly layers for her in Gadget. She hates when I chop up her voice in Egoist.

    But yah, very supportive of the hobby but don’t quit my day job.

  • I doubt my wife hears any music being made. As said already above, it’s about the final result for her - all the repetition of practice, all the repeating the same note while programming sounds, probably drives her nuts.

    I consider myself lucky she likes and partakes in my other love - fishing! ;)

  • She sometimes gets annoyed when I get so involved/tune out for long periods of time. It's difficult to put together songs without really devoting big chunks of time to that very task. On balance, my wife likes what I make, but wants more finished pieces (and so do I).

    My goal is to try to work smarter rather than longer.

  • Cool thread

    When my wife is on MacBook at night, I don headphones and jam out

    Therefore no issue

  • We’re both obsessed with music.

    This is us performing together!

    Some video clips from same concert in this clip, I’m out of shot in this one!

  • From indifference to head for the hills.

  • Right hand hurts when i play the keyboard too much. Maybe a way of telling me to take a break?

  • 'Can you turn that thing all the way down...... or better still- switch it off completely'

  • I must wear headphones all the time, as she cannot stand even a single note of my tracks.
    "Is this keyboard absolutely necessary? A flower pot would be very nice here."

  • It's a positive focus in my efforts to quit drinking so my wife is cool with it.

  • @gusgranite said:
    It's a positive focus in my efforts to quit drinking so my wife is cool with it.


  • Marginally interested and somewhat supportive. Been married 18 years and it’s pretty much the same as it ever was...

  • She loves my guitar-based stuff. Not very fond of synths. She finds even the B3 to be a little too hi-tech. Luddite.

  • edited November 2017

    Mrs Zen only hears stuff when it is already well on the way. As our most honest critic, I can run things by her the reaction can often help us to decide whether to continue the track to the polished final version.

    Not that she is always right or that we always agree. But that is as it should be. Sometimes I/ we know I need to stick to my guns, being able to ‘hear’ in imagination how the end result will sound.

  • let me dig her up from the back yard and ask her, lol, jk, Im single now but all my ex's liked that I'm a musician and a song writer/producer, my last gf however, didnt have as wide of a music palette, she liked when I did dance songs or ballads...... the rock stuff.....not so much lol

  • My Ex threatened murder, so I did a runner, phew! Liberty!

  • my wife (and my older two kids) are used to my eccentricities and act amused that i do this. they won't admit it, but i think they like that i make music if not the music itself. my youngest, who at 13 is at that overly-self-conscious age, acts embarrassed whenever this comes up in the company of others - but she alone of the members of my household will (when no one is around) ask to play with the synths...

  • My wife likes the music, but HATES hearing it being made ;)

  • edited November 2017

    My wife is all over place on the music issue. It's actually a pretty big source of conflict/resentment in our household. On the one hand, she knew and loved that I played guitar when we met at age 19. Since then, and particularly since cohabitation/marriage, the default rule is that she hates everything about my music playing. It's treated like a habit that I've failed to outgrow - like video games or if I was still really into baseball cards or something. She hates the money that is spent on it, the space that the "stuff" occupies, and (as best I can discern) the selfishness of putting time and energy into something that isn't for and doesn't necessarily require her.

    With guitar stuff, she basically doesn't want it played in the house when she is home. She views it as a massive waste of money (she's not completely wrong on that part, but I really enjoy it, so...). With respect to iOS music, I don't think she fully understands what "iOS music" is, or would be able to wrap her head around something like AudioBus Forum.

    On the other hand, she is a person who appreciates music and at various times has done really nice things for me that supported (even if by accident) my ability to play music. She endorsed the purchase of an acoustic guitar (in 2009) that I had wanted for years, but couldn't afford while in school. My birthday gift last year was an iPad Pro, which is also a gift for the whole family (we watch Netflix and use the web on it), but I think she at least knows that I have music apps on there, even if she doesn't understand what a DAW is or why I would need dozens of synths and drum machines.

    One great thing that has happened is that we have a 3 year old daughter and my wife loves anything she does that encourages her to play music. We're getting her a small uke for Christmas, and I could see a scenario where keyboards and the iOS stuff are things that we could enjoy together and my wife might support at least for that reason. Otherwise, it is what it is and I've just learned to adapt to it. I'm pretty private about music anyway, so while I wish that my passion (less than my "ability") for this stuff was something that was more appreciated, I don't need that as the reason to want to do that. Actually, the things I discuss on AudioBus Forum and guitar sites are arguably the only things I do that are purely "for me", and I think everyone needs something like that for their well-being.

  • My wife went to school for audio engineering, and in fact we met when I offered to help her figure out her Kurzweil K2600XS. She doesn't work in the field or write music anymore, but she understands my desire to write and leaves me to it most of the time. It helps that we're both fairly independant people who don't mind doing our own things most nights too.

    That said, she generally thinks I put too many weird sounds in my songs :)

  • I used to play in bands with my ex, but I spare the current Mrs Monzo my electronic noodlings. I think it's fair to assume she wouldn't like it.

  • Moans when i don’t have my headphones on and then moans about the noise about the keyboard click. Also always says “why do you need another synth app!”.
    But does usually like the end product, sometimes lol

  • My other half likes a lot of the finished songs and understands my need to be creative.
    When I spend all those hours making them in the back bedroom, she gets to watch all her crappy vampire romance TV series. So it’s win win.
    Until she wants housework done.

  • @Tarekith said:
    .... I offered to help her figure out her Kurzweil K2600XS....

    There are young nerds out there who need to know that things like this CAN happen...

  • In a house of introverts it's not so hard to get on with the work. I'm somewhat amazed that Mrs. Goodyear doesn't ask to listen to anything I do. To me (whether one liked the music or not) it offers such an obvious insight into the concerns and interior thoughts of the writer...maybe just as well....

  • @gusgranite said:
    It's a positive focus in my efforts to quit drinking so my wife is cool with it.

    +1000. Single but still doing the same. My dog is cool with it.

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