Song of the Month Club - May 2017

What is the Song of the Month Club?

It's a place where musicians come to give and receive feedback on their work. Anyone is welcome, whatever their level of ability.

The spirit of the club is to contribute: if you submit a song for others to comment on, you should also have the courtesy to listen to everyone else's contributions and give as much feedback as possible. Posting a track and not listening and commenting on others is not cool.

The purpose of feedback is to be honest. Essentially you should give your truthful impressions of the song, whether good or bad. Negative feedback, if done in the right spirit and with courtesy, can be the most useful and can help the artist to grow and improve and correct their mistakes.

All submissions are welcome, don't hesitate if you want to contribute. We like all kinds of music and we are particularly fond of vocals (but of course we still love a great instrumental). If you are thinking of experimenting with vocals this is a good place to get started.

We ask that you only post one song per month in this thread - if you're lucky enough to be able to produce more, then please just submit your strongest material

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Comments

  • 211 Comments sorted by Date Votes
  • My first submission in a while! Here's a song about my dog. 2-step garage sort of beat with Korg Gadget, analog bass from Korg Minilogue, plucks/leads from a Juno-106, with guitar and ukulele. Lyrics in the spoiler.

    Inflexible Dog

    You say that you love me
    You say that we're true
    But every time you shove me
    I never come through

    What we've got on our hands isn't just another dog
    When are you gonna tame that inflexible dog

    You can take me or break me but one thing is true
    I'm never going to find another species quite like you
    That's great you bring me flowers but two rights don't right a wrong
    When're you gonna tame that inflexible dog?
    It's just another Sunday night and we're socked in with fog
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    We've been here before, it's another prologue
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    I don't have no I don't have a dog in this fight
    And I don't have an idea about how to make things right
    I just know a few old tricks and I just know the way you tick
    and if you'll tame me I will try to be a better fit
    Don't feed me a cold dish of that same old dialog
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    Here comes the part of the tale that I dread
    To wake up and find that the doggy is dead
    Don't say that you'll miss the days, your memory I'll jog
    When we're finally rid of that inflexible dog

  • The first submission with vocals. Heavy metal! Have you all a nice weekend!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJdCVk7ffic

  • @studs1966, great house song! Ready for commercial release, in fact everything is perfectly balanced and arranged. The composition itself has the potential to be a club hit. The best song I heard from you this far. Congratulations!

  • @gburks, great melodies and timbres. The vocals could have been set a litlle more "in your face" in the mix. The oriental theme that begins in the intro and comes back throughout the song is very catchy. Thumbs up!

  • @theconnactic said:
    @studs1966, great house song! Ready for commercial release, in fact everything is perfectly balanced and arranged. The composition itself has the potential to be a club hit. The best song I heard from you this far. Congratulations!

    Thank you very much @theconnactic. Very much appreciated. ;)

  • edited May 18 Vote Up0

    @gburks cool tune, really enjoyed the riffing about your inflexible dog. With my own dog i sometimes wonder who is the trainer and who is the trainee. Your mix was really balanced..so many sounds but everything has its place in the soundstage, nice job!

    @studs1966 great tune, found its groove really quickly, and really interesting dynamics as it kicks up and backs off. Sounds a million dollars production wise. Agree with Dimitri that this is your best tune to date...if someone suggested ios music productions are inferior to pc I'd happily point to your track to rebut!

    @theconnactic great to hear (and see :) ) vocals in this one. I was just thinking that I wouldn't have minded the guitar a bit louder in the first verse, and then the first guitar break kicked in and i understood! Cool tune, great playing. My only suggestion is maybe some vocal disortion on the 'we bleed, we die...' chorus to perhaps give it a more searing edge. Really enjoying your videos too, makes me want to make one.

    My tune this month is about the fairy tales of yore where the hero lives to save the day....but what if he/she doesn't?!

    Edit: spoiler w lyrics added

    Jack and Jill went up the hill - and Jack fell down
    Jack fell down & smashed his crown – blood all around
    Jack in bade shape - his blood it formed a lake
    Jill knelt to help, herself to his money belt - & Jill shot through

    Once upon a time – it was story time / it would blow my mind /

    Goldilocks - went looking for bears - she broke the chair
    She did break the chair, & the bears did despair - Goldy ran off scared
    She ate all their food, which is really quite rude - she did intrude
    So they dragged her back east, made her repair the seats - her head now sits on the mantel piece

    Humpety dumpety, sat on the wall - he had a great fall
    All the kings horses and all of his men - couldn’t put humpty together again
    They work and the tried, to get H realigned - but his parts were disinclined
    They tried and they cried, and in the end he was fried - and on humpty they all dined

    Say what, say wow – things have all gone wrong somehow
    Down on, my knees- Mr Disney help me please
    Our hero is saved - lives to fight another day
    Frodo heads out from the Shire – how’d he beat the Evil Eye?

    Once upon a time – it had lots of rhymes / Just like Disney time / it would be sublime

    Riding Hood alone in the woods- the wolf's intentions misunderstoodstood
    Big Bad Wolf hid Grandma outta site - and got dressed up as (a) transvestite
    Big eyes, hands and teeth, all the better to eat - with riding hood the meat
    The Wood Chopper arrived, and stoked up the fire - & on Riding Hood they both dine

    Story book happy endings are never-ending but they’re just not real
    They twist and they turn, there’s a moral we learn, warm inside we feel
    The truth they bending, is never-ending, it does not fly
    Miraculous twist of fate, the hero escapes because he cannot die.

    Once upon a time…

  • SOTMC thought for the day: A lot of times maturing as an artist is just starting to do the things you like to do.
    (John Currin)

  • @Marliess, great intro riff! Different from the other entries of yours I heard, until the first chorus comes, and with it the peculiar (I say this as a compliment) style of your past songs, which reminds me a little of Oingo Boingo in their prime. About the mix, not much to add: everything in place and audible, and ready for commercial release. Thumbs up! And thank you for the feedback to my song, by the way.

  • Thanks @theconnactic...couldnt help myself with the chorus!

  • @gburks said:
    My first submission in a while! Here's a song about my dog. 2-step garage sort of beat with Korg Gadget, analog bass from Korg Minilogue, plucks/leads from a Juno-106, with guitar and ukulele. Lyrics in the spoiler.

    Creepy. Carnival barkers indeed. A psychedelic Harry Lime (in Rio maybe) with a canine problem....would like to see the film/video. Have to imagine it would be animated. Would be lying if I didn't admit to expecting there to be some kind of (sub)woofing involved here somewhere, great restraint on your part actually.

  • @theconnactic said:
    The first submission with vocals. Heavy metal! Have you all a nice weekend!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJdCVk7ffic

    Phew! I think the thing about the vocal (can't quite believe I'm saying this) is I would like more meanness. Heavy metal isn't really my thing, and mostly because I don't believe it. It can feel a little like a horror movie that doesn't scare you. So while you have the genre nailed, when you sing "I fear this sunrise may be our last" I want to really believe it. I want your voice to tell me it's true. As mentioned, perhaps some distortion or other effects would help, but more than anything I think it's a matter of passion (probably the wrong word, but I'm sure you get where I'm coming from)...on the matter I'm LEAST qualified to comment on, I do love the bass :) Very impressive mastery of the frets there....

  • Thank you for the review, @JohnnyGoodyear!

  • The point, for me, is not whether this is any good (it's not), it is that I have finally done an effing song!!! Very unpleasant six months but is all done now. This was going to be called Faceless Techno Bollocks, but then I did a very faint whispered vocal and so I called it something else. For what it's worth it was done from the ground up in Auria Pro. I felt I should give it a go having paid all that money for it after all. I have missed SOTMC, although you are probably wondering what I'm banging on about ;-)

    @Bluepunk i will hear no talk of championships, as with promotion my cup runneth over. v pleased!

    i have a plan to try to produce tunes regularly again, but then i'm full of plans...

    p

  • @crouchie Happy all sorted now, happy for Brighton/Hughton, and happy you are back. I'm trying crouchie, really hard to zip the banter.... and will.....for now. There's a whole season of that around the corner. Have a review sesh planned. Welcome home. :)

  • @marliess said:

    My tune this month is about the fairy tales of yore where the hero lives to save the day....but what if he/she doesn't?!

    This is one very weird epic :) I see you as a large man dressed in a threadbare rabbit suit standing in the corner of the room, humming to yourself as folks move away from you on the Group W bench....but there's no question this would make a terrific video/little film. Tim Burton maybe?

  • Thanks @JohnnyGoodyear. As fate would have it my wife is a kinder teacher and we have an array of onesies and stuffed toys floating around here. I like your vision of a dodgy, uncle buck type giant rabbit. My dog also likes to thrash and gut any misplaced stuff toys, i reckon a nice slo mo of the fluffy entrails (ala the cougars with kim il jong in team america) would fit the vibe nicely too...I've possibly just marked myself for assassination with that comment. Thanks for having a listen :)

  • @Crouchie, great drums! Did you use Lyra, or a synth, or perhaps a loop? To be honest, I think the song is very good, and the production is very clean as well. Congrats!

  • Profane idiocy, basically.

  • @theconnactic said:
    @Crouchie, great drums! Did you use Lyra, or a synth, or perhaps a loop? To be honest, I think the song is very good, and the production is very clean as well. Congrats!

    Thanks, v kind! I used some single hits from various sample packs and put each one into its own instance of Lyra. Wanted to try to be a bit more ambitious and have more varying patterns, but it just didn't happen in the end, just stuck with basic techno stuff

  • @gburks Dogs eh. Yep, remember a tidy punky number you slapped down hard here a while ago. The gaffer doesn't let me out much so I was happy to hear Gadget with vocals on a pop tune.... and it goes! And you gave those vocals in a kinda ten minutes past nine on the old ear/clock face. A few listens allowed it to sink in and it is effective. Could a portion of them be directed slightly harder and punch them straight in the face, maybe but I enjoyed the different feel. Catchy, hooked up thing, and tilted towards the verse "I don't have no... Good wordage and nice tune. :)

  • @studs1966 Sshh now. Meeting up for the second time today in two different, dodgy clubs will get em all flustered and the gossip... well, you can only imagine geez. Don't mention the next club we're off to though, you know, the one in Napa.... Will be barred for life. Look you're good at all this... too good, and I know you get paid handsomely for these radio edits, but how about flicking through your sizeable sample satchel and stopping at F. Give us a NON radio edit..... please. Professional DJ radio (tut) edit sir. They all are. :)

  • @Bluepunk said:
    @studs1966 Sshh now. Meeting up for the second time today in two different, dodgy clubs will get em all flustered and the gossip... well, you can only imagine geez. Don't mention the next club we're off to though, you know, the one in Napa.... Will be barred for life. Look you're good at all this... too good, and I know you get paid handsomely for these radio edits, but how about flicking through your sizeable sample satchel and stopping at F. Give us a NON radio edit..... please. Professional DJ radio (tut) edit sir. They all are. :)

    :D

  • @Vorgon, so I think I enjoy the profane idiocy, then. The instrumental sounds like a soundtrack of an 80's sitcom, like ALF or Sledge Hammer. Thumbs up!

  • @gburks said:
    My first submission in a while! Here's a song about my dog. 2-step garage sort of beat with Korg Gadget, analog bass from Korg Minilogue, plucks/leads from a Juno-106, with guitar and ukulele. Lyrics in the spoiler.

    Inflexible Dog

    You say that you love me
    You say that we're true
    But every time you shove me
    I never come through

    What we've got on our hands isn't just another dog
    When are you gonna tame that inflexible dog

    You can take me or break me but one thing is true
    I'm never going to find another species quite like you
    That's great you bring me flowers but two rights don't right a wrong
    When're you gonna tame that inflexible dog?
    It's just another Sunday night and we're socked in with fog
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    We've been here before, it's another prologue
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    I don't have no I don't have a dog in this fight
    And I don't have an idea about how to make things right
    I just know a few old tricks and I just know the way you tick
    and if you'll tame me I will try to be a better fit
    Don't feed me a cold dish of that same old dialog
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    Here comes the part of the tale that I dread
    To wake up and find that the doggy is dead
    Don't say that you'll miss the days, your memory I'll jog
    When we're finally rid of that inflexible dog

    @gburks said:
    My first submission in a while! Here's a song about my dog. 2-step garage sort of beat with Korg Gadget, analog bass from Korg Minilogue, plucks/leads from a Juno-106, with guitar and ukulele. Lyrics in the spoiler.

    Inflexible Dog

    You say that you love me
    You say that we're true
    But every time you shove me
    I never come through

    What we've got on our hands isn't just another dog
    When are you gonna tame that inflexible dog

    You can take me or break me but one thing is true
    I'm never going to find another species quite like you
    That's great you bring me flowers but two rights don't right a wrong
    When're you gonna tame that inflexible dog?
    It's just another Sunday night and we're socked in with fog
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    We've been here before, it's another prologue
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    I don't have no I don't have a dog in this fight
    And I don't have an idea about how to make things right
    I just know a few old tricks and I just know the way you tick
    and if you'll tame me I will try to be a better fit
    Don't feed me a cold dish of that same old dialog
    You're never gonna tame that inflexible dog

    Here comes the part of the tale that I dread
    To wake up and find that the doggy is dead
    Don't say that you'll miss the days, your memory I'll jog
    When we're finally rid of that inflexible dog

    @marliess said:
    @gburks cool tune, really enjoyed the riffing about your inflexible dog. With my own dog i sometimes wonder who is the trainer and who is the trainee. Your mix was really balanced..so many sounds but everything has its place in the soundstage, nice job!

    @studs1966 great tune, found its groove really quickly, and really interesting dynamics as it kicks up and backs off. Sounds a million dollars production wise. Agree with Dimitri that this is your best tune to date...if someone suggested ios music productions are inferior to pc I'd happily point to your track to rebut!

    @theconnactic great to hear (and see :) ) vocals in this one. I was just thinking that I wouldn't have minded the guitar a bit louder in the first verse, and then the first guitar break kicked in and i understood! Cool tune, great playing. My only suggestion is maybe some vocal disortion on the 'we bleed, we die...' chorus to perhaps give it a more searing edge. Really enjoying your videos too, makes me want to make one.

    My tune this month is about the fairy tales of yore where the hero lives to save the day....but what if he/she doesn't?!

    @marliess said:
    @gburks cool tune, really enjoyed the riffing about your inflexible dog. With my own dog i sometimes wonder who is the trainer and who is the trainee. Your mix was really balanced..so many sounds but everything has its place in the soundstage, nice job!

    @studs1966 great tune, found its groove really quickly, and really interesting dynamics as it kicks up and backs off. Sounds a million dollars production wise. Agree with Dimitri that this is your best tune to date...if someone suggested ios music productions are inferior to pc I'd happily point to your track to rebut!

    @theconnactic great to hear (and see :) ) vocals in this one. I was just thinking that I wouldn't have minded the guitar a bit louder in the first verse, and then the first guitar break kicked in and i understood! Cool tune, great playing. My only suggestion is maybe some vocal disortion on the 'we bleed, we die...' chorus to perhaps give it a more searing edge. Really enjoying your videos too, makes me want to make one.

    My tune this month is about the fairy tales of yore where the hero lives to save the day....but what if he/she doesn't?!

  • @mariless
    I love that riff!

  • @gburks I really like the song and particularly like the Walking in the Moon ambience at the start.

  • @theconnactic said:
    @Vorgon, so I think I enjoy the profane idiocy, then. The instrumental sounds like a soundtrack of an 80's sitcom, like ALF or Sledge Hammer. Thumbs up!

    I'll have that! Thanks very much. All gadget, with a bit of Microwarmer from Auriga at the end.

  • A friend died. As happens. And where there's no available future, it's the past one thinks of.

    https://youtu.be/D-BwnAuITvI

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